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This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: There are Plenty of Things We Can All Come Together to Hate America is divided. The election is over, and people are fighting in the streets, at work, on social media, at home. Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama have all stepped forward to ask the American … Continue reading There are Plenty of Things We Can All Come Together to Hate
This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: A Rap/Hip-Hop Compilation Recorded for the Trump Inauguration Through some deep sources within President-elect Donald Trump’s transition team, we have uncovered a track list of rap/hip-hop songs re-recorded (“All tremendously legal,” we were assured) for Trump’s upcoming inauguration in January: 1. “F*ck Tha Police Because You Appreciate … Continue reading A Rap/Hip-Hop Compilation Recorded for the Trump Inauguration
This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt here: In Memoriam: Those We've Lost to Make Paul Manafort's Belongings. Over the years, we have lost many great creatures to Paul Manafort’s desire for lavish clothing and other exotic belongings. Here, we remember those who are no longer with us: Tony (Python) – Jacket Al (Alligator) – Luggage … Continue reading In Memoriam: Those We’ve Lost to Make Paul Manafort’s Belongings
This piece originally appeared on The Weekly Humorist here: Please Review the GOP-Approved Activities for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez The following represents all of the GOP-approved activities relating to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. In light of the recent dancing video, please take time to review this list. Responding with a simple “Hello.” when spoken to Making coffee Bringing coffee … Continue reading Please Review the GOP-Approved Activities for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
This piece originally appeared on Robot Butt: With Everything That's Happening Right Now, I'd Like to Announce I'm Selling Diet Pills Hey Errybody! LOL! What’s up all my Facebook amigos? You doing good? You’re about to be doing better! I’m going to make this the best time of your life by offering you something that … Continue reading With Everything That’s Happening Right Now, I’d Like to Announce I’m Selling Diet Pills
This piece originally appeared on How Pants Work here: You Guys are Doing a Great Job! In light of the recent tensions among Americans from all walks of life, we, the Holy Trinity, one God in three parts, want to let you all know where we stand on the matter. There are those on both … Continue reading You Guys are Doing a Great Job!
This piece originally appeared on Second City Netowork and Redeye Chicago: Second City Network, Redeye Chicago It’s almost over, everyone. Stay safe—and sane— out there by following a few simple guidelines. Don’t make eye contact. If you look at the wrong person, he or she may bring up politics before you can stop it. Just don’t look … Continue reading How to Maintain Your Sanity for the Last Few Days of This Election
This piece originally appeared on The Establishment here: MFM: White Evangelicals Seeking New Messiah Hey, y’all! White Evangelicals here. You know, Jerry Fallwell, Jr. types. We’re new to this whole dating thing, but ready to meet someone! We just got out of a long-term relationship that honestly was over years ago — we had lost interest in Him, … Continue reading MFM: White Evangelicals Seeking New Messiah