Writer, Speaker, Performer, & Funeral Professional All in One Person
This piece originally appeared on The Weekly Humorist here: Please Review the GOP-Approved Activities for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez The following represents all of the GOP-approved activities relating to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. In light of the recent dancing video, please take time to review this list. Responding with a simple “Hello.” when spoken to Making coffee Bringing coffee … Continue reading Please Review the GOP-Approved Activities for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
This piece originally appeared in The Weekly Humorist here: People You Really Don't Want to Hear Say, I'm Not a Magician" The defense attorney The dermatologist The plumber The mechanic The banker The loan officer The financial advisor when you plead with her to find a way to replenish your daughter's college fund The marriage … Continue reading People You Really Don’t want to hear say, “I’m not a magician”
This piece originally appeared in The Weekly Humorist here: Baskets, Ranked
This post originally appeared in The Weekly Humorist here: Evergreen Satire Headline Generator Evergreen satire is hard! Use your birthday to create a headline for your very own evergreen satire piece now! January – Ernest Hemingway February – Jane Austen March – Lord Voldemort April – Sylvia Plath May – The Best Friend in Every Romantic Comedy June – Werner Herzog … Continue reading Evergreen Satire Headline Generator
This piece originally appeared in The Weekly Humorist here: The Shocking Results of Our Most Recent Independent Studies (Sponsored by Coca-Cola) Pepsi greatly increases the risk of obesity in teens Wilkins, Derrick. Pepsi and Weight Gain During Adolescence. Atlanta: The Coca-Cola Company. High levels of Pepsi intake in children leads to a 61% greater chance of diabetes … Continue reading The Shocking Results of Our Most Recent Independent Studies (Sponsored by Coca-Cola)
This piece was co-written with Erik Sternberger and originally appeared on The Weekly Humorist here: My Signed Book Collection Recently President Donald J. Trump has come under ridicule for signing Bibles after the fatal tornadoes in Alabama. “Why did people have him sign Bibles?”, “Have those idiots ever actually read the Bible if they think Trump … Continue reading My Signed Book Collection
This piece was co-written with Erik Sternberger originally appeared on The Weekly Humorist here: Letters Smuggled Out from the Front Lines of Amazon's Never-Ending Holiday Sale My Darling Megan, I fear there is no end in sight to this year’s holiday season. The punch clock tells me it is the 26th of November, but I … Continue reading Letters Smuggled Out from the Front Lines of Amazon’s Never-Ending Holiday Sale
This piece originally appeared on The Weekly Humorist here: What to Watch for at Billy Beckham's Long-Awaited Funeral Service After seventy-two years of waiting, the funeral service of William C. (Billy) Beckham, the retired air conditioner repairman and Home Depot paint department attendant from Paragould, Arkansas is finally here, and it looks like it will … Continue reading What to Watch for at Billy Beckham’s Long-Awaited Funeral Service